Pizzagirl part three - audio story
Today I was attacked again - the guy wanted the money I was carrying.
He was waving a knife around, but it was a dinner knife and he looked
really stupid with it. "OK, OK," I said, "My life isn't worth the cash
I'm carrying, it's on the bicycle, I'll just get it." But also on the
bicycle was my hockey stick, and that's a yard long. I unclipped it,
and swung at his head, as one does. He ducked, of course, but I caught
him a good one on the shoulder. He yelled "Bitch" and came at me with the
knife, but I got him on the left ear with the second swipe of my stick,
and he staggered.
Why a hockey stick, you might be wondering. Because a baseball bat
looks like a weapon, but a hockey stick looks like sports equipment.
Which it is, and I've had plenty of practice with it.
So he was still coming at me with his cutlery, so after I'd bounced my
hockey stick off his left ear, I did a follow through, spun round and
smashed my weapon into his right ear. Now he was dazed, but he still had
his knife, so I lined up carefully and whacked his right hand, cracking
his knuckles and causing him to drop the blade.
Now he was disarmed, I suppose I could have just got on the pizza bike
and rode off, but my blood was up and I wasn't going to stop now.
The standard strike with a hockey stick is, of course, to the shins,
followed by an "Oops, sorry about that!". So I took careful aim, raised
the stick and brought it down as hard as I could. There was a satisfying
"Crack!" and I knew that my assailant was finished. So I put my hockey
stick back on its bracket, got on the pizza bike and rode off into the
sunset. Or I would have, but it was night time so I rode off into the
moonlight.
Story by Diana the Valkyrie.